Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Summer without Facebook




About three months ago, I decided to do a trial separation from Facebook. I wanted to see what life would be like without the daily draw to check up on the happenings of all my friends—people I know in the flesh, friends who’d moved away, family near and far, and acquaintances related to writing and volunteer work.

It was difficult at first. (There’s a reason some call it Crackbook.) I felt like I was dumping people on a grand scale, worse than any teen-aged after-crush breakup. Once or twice I may have leaned over to read my daughter’s laptop screen while she was viewing someone’s wedding photos, or reading a funny status update. And I even accidentally clicked on the Facebook link in my browser several times, like the times I drove home to our old house, long after we’d moved, on auto-pilot. Yikes! I knew I was addicted. But could I really beat it?

As with any addiction, my symptoms lessoned with time. Not being online as much created more mental space, more quiet, more free time. I fulfilled my goal to read two novels just for fun this summer. I even read a couple of nonfiction titles, painted all our exterior doors, did some gardening, and hosted a whole parade of family who came to visit. Grocery shopping and cooking likely took more time over the past few months, too, so I don’t even know where I would have fit in electronic socializing.

It was so much nicer to sit face-to-face, across the table from real people. Sometimes people don’t come across very well on the net. Short little snippets of comments, brief updates, random quotes. In person, around the table during and after a meal, conversation ebbs and flows and it’s easier to see expressions and hear tone of voice and know the intent of the person speaking. Laughter is loud and hearty—a reaction to off-the-cuff jokes; not an LOL two days later.

The best and most notable change was that I actually grew to miss some people because I didn’t look at a photo of them on Facebook every day. I had to find my phone number holder (it’s an old wooden recipe box that holds recipe cards, one for each family). I had to dial a person’s phone number and be prepared to spend half an hour to catch up because other than Facebook, when was the last time I’d seen the friend? Almost a year ago? Ridiculous. We had a good talk and made plans to get together. I wonder if anyone missed me on Facebook?

These last three months showed me I don’t really need Facebook. I can control the time I spend on there and make more of an effort to contact friends in real life.

But I’ve decided to reactivate my account for one reason: it’s incredibly convenient. I don’t have everyone’s phone numbers in that recipe box after all, and there are some friends I won’t see otherwise. And professionally, it’s much easier to network using the site.

After reactivating my account and announcing my return, I got a flurry of ‘missed you’ messages. It was such an odd sensation. Like I was suddenly in a room full of friends.

Facebook is great for connecting with those not here, but it should never replace seeing real local friends.

See you on Crackbook.

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